Rejection can feel like a dead end, but what if it was a stepping stone to achieving your goals? In life there are always setbacks, which is to be expected. However, in college, when your life feels like it is just beginning, it can feel like you are faced with what seems like never-ending challenges or constantly hearing the word, “no.” Your self-esteem can take a big hit and maybe even your sense of self and identity. A condition that makes this suffering worse is also a comparison of peers. The competitive environment of college brings together so many students from different backgrounds who are at completely different parts of their professional and educational careers. It is easy to compare yourself to your peers and take a hit to your self-esteem due to not getting an “A” on that paper or not getting that internship you applied for. Habits of comparison and fear of rejection can frequently cause college students to find themselves stuck.

What Can Setbacks In College Look Like?

  • Failing a class or exam
  • Not meeting GPA requirements
  • Experiencing anxiety or depression
  • Conflicts with roommates or friends
  • Realizing you do not want to pursue a career in your chosen major
  • Not getting internships or jobs applied for
  • Issues with romantic relationships
  • Academic burnout
  • Decline in physical health

Importance of developing a growth mindset

A growth mindset is when one believes that current abilities are not fixed but are developing over time through trial and error. A growth mindset is very important to success in education and professional careers. When having a growth mindset you are more likely to seek out challenges and face obstacles because they will be valuable learning experiences. Even if you do not overcome the challenge, you might find that you gained knowledge. A growth mindset gives you the room to look at your downfalls as a stepping stone towards greatness rather than failures.

The opposite of a growth mindset which many college students can find themselves stuck in is a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is one that assumes your skills and intelligence are fixed and cannot grow over time. This type of mindset typically involves feelings of defeat, fear of failure, ignoring feedback, and avoiding challenges. Fixed mindsets slow down success and are harmful to mental health. Some examples include difficulty with feedback leading to individuals feeling that critiques are attacks on their core abilities. Never-ending cycles of overworking, perfectionism, and burnout which can lead to anxiety and depression. Also, fear of failure with a fixed mindset can lead to frustration and self doubt. Changing your mindset from fixed to growth is a great start to pursuing your goals after facing hardships. There are also multiple other ways to overcome setbacks that can be useful.

Additional Tips on How to Handle Setbacks

  • Seek Support: Facing setbacks is difficult, don’t be afraid to reach out to close family or friends for emotional support. This can also include looking for guidance from professors, peers, or mentors.
  • Practice Self-Care: Facing obstacles can take a toll on your emotional state. Make sure to  engage in activities that bring you joy. Some self-care activities can include exercise, skin care, sleep, journaling, meditation, hanging out with friends, or hobbies.
  • Create Steps Towards Your Goals: A goal can often seem overwhelming and impossible to reach. Breaking down your goal into smaller steps can help your goal seem more attainable. Making steps towards your goal or making small improvements can improve your self-esteem.
  • Stay Flexible: Try to have a backup plan for when things don’t go as planned. When applying for internships, jobs, or schools, always keep your options open. Apply to multiple places and use all of your resources when looking at other options.
  • Stay Persistent: Success in education or professional careers takes time, effort, and consistency. Celebrate small wins to keep up motivation. Make use of tools and resources that you haven’t tried in the past. When searching for jobs or internships try LinkedIn, Handshake, ZipRecruiter, etc. Otherwise if you are looking for a little extra help in your classes start attending office hours, find a study group, or even seek out personal tutoring.

Turn Setbacks into Strengths

Rejection is not a reflection of your self-worth. Rejection does not keep you from success however, your reaction to rejection can. Your reaction is what defines resilience. “Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” (American Psychological Association, n.d.) It’s a skill that can be cultivated. The key to success is a growth mindset, resilience, and persistence. Every setback is a stepping stone towards your goals. The ability to reframe your setbacks in life into learning or growth experiences is of high value. From every setback, you gain knowledge, character development, problem-solving skills, and more. Shifting your perspective to view parts of your work technique that need improvement is a great start. The next step towards your goal can be to reach out to mentors for advice on how to make improvements in areas of development. Then, putting in the effort to make those changes can make you a more competitive candidate for a job or a better student.

To conclude, life is full of obstacles that need to be overcome. As a college student, it can seem that your hard work is never going to pay off or that every action results in rejection. However, never let your fear of failure hold you back from your greatest achievements. Rejection is always going to occur in life and it is integral to your success to have resilience to combat challenges. If you have resilience and approach life with a growth mindset every setback can be seen as an opportunity for learning and bettering yourself. Maybe try to utilize mindfulness techniques, talking with your support group, or engaging in self-care to build resilience. Attempt to build your resilience and self-esteem to better prepare yourself for temporary setbacks in life. High resilience and self-esteem has the potential to drastically simplify your life and improve your educational or professional career.

References

American Psychological Association. (n.d.-a). Resilience. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience

By Bella Emanuele, college intern, and Dr. Divya Babbar